“What in the world…???!!!!” Standing in the buff, she immediately grabbed a towel and wrapped it around her. Still in shock, she nearly fell over discovering that it was Madge, her husband’s assistant—not her husband—who now faced her. “Jane????!!!!! What are YOU doing here? I was about to squash someone named, `Pumpkin’—certainly not YOU!” Jane tightened the towel against her while collapsing into the nearest chair. “I happen to be `Pumpkin,’” she said near tears. “I was trying to seduce my husband with a Sendapantygram.com little red panties and a big imagination. We’ve become—well you might say, kind of distant with each other. I thought this would do the trick to wake up the sleeping giant, if you get my drift.” Now it was Madge’s turn to collapse onto the bed. “OMG I’ve made a mess of everything. I came here to help save your marriage and now I lost my job!”
Jane threw on a robe and poured them both a glass of wine. “No, Madge. You’re fine. Dane won’t have to know a thing about this. Not to worry. Thank you for running interference. But now what to do? He’s going to go home and realize I’m not there—and either is my suitcase. He’ll think I’ve left him. And then…?” Madge began to smile. “Call him right now. Call him on his cell phone and get his ass in here while I make a swift exit. None of this ever happened, right? Now CALL HIM!” Within a half hour there were two knocks at the door. Jane gingerly sidled over to the door and whispered a wary, “Yes?” “Is this Janey, aka `Pumpkin’?, she heard her husband laugh. “Did you bring the you-know-whats?, she laughed back. Opening the door just a crack to see a tiny red pair of panties being waved around like a scarlet flag, she dropped her robe to the floor and welcomed her husband with open arms at last. Glancing over her shoulder he noticed the candles were almost burned down and two glasses of wine were emptied. “Uh, Janey, how long have you been waiting for me?” Unbuttoning his shirt and sliding off his tie, she pulled him over to the bed. “Oh about two and a half years and a cold bowl of oatmeal ago. C’mon, babe we’ve got a whole bunch of chili peppers and one sassy pair of panties to get us up and running. Starting now….!”
Tuesday, January 26th, 2010